Sunday, February 14, 2010

Loss, Love and Legacy

Early this week, after watching many many episodes of Bones, Amanda and I were talking about what people would find on my bones. Would they be able to tell that I had shoulder and knee injury from swimming? A wrist injury from rowing? And do I really have dents on my shins from getting in and out of the pool? It's weird to think about.
This weekend I went to a Women's retreat at my church called Loss, Love and Legacy. It was a study of the book of Ruth, and really pretty interesting. For those of you that aren't aware I have struggled with my faith of the last few years and just recently been able to start to feel secure in it again. It was really good to be around women that were older than I am and had lived parts of their lives. They were able to give me advise on how to handle different situations and give me lots of hope. I'm not sure if they are aware that they touched me in the way that they did but it was really amazing.
This weekend really got me thinking about what my legacy would be. I know that I want my legacy to be positive, who would actually want to leave a negative one? But what is it suppose to be? Recently I have had the feeling that I am being pulled away from the path that I am currently on but I am unsure as to where I am being called and what I am being called to do. This is really hard for me to admit because I don't like to feel as though I am not in control of my life.
So what am I suppose to do now? Sit back and wait? Am I suppose to move in the direction that I think that I am being pulled?
What I do know is that I am not called to be on the path that I am on, so something is going to have to change. For now I guess my plan will be to sit back, pray, listen and try to move in the direction that I think I am to move in.
So to tie all together, when we leave the world we are not looked at in just the physical aspects but also in the spritual. What will people see about you? What footprint are we leaving on the World?
Just some things to think about. I'll talk to you all later. Bye for now...

Friday, February 12, 2010

Theory of a Deadman

Let me start off by saying I totally forgot that I started this until Andrea said something to me yesterday day. Oooops.
Anyway... Tuesday night Kammie and I went to see Theory of a Deadman with Adelitas Way, Taking Dawn and Halestorm. We had a really great time. The first band was Taking Dawn and I didn't love it. It could have been becaue the mixing was off and all you could hear were the drums and you couldn't understand a thing the singer was saying except for the F word that he said almost every other word. Then Adelitas Way came on which I really enjoyed. I got to see them when we went and saw Breaking Benjamin back in December but this was Kammie's first time to get to see them live. At this point I'm pretty sure we were finishing our second Bucket of Beer. We ended up running into a girls Kammie knew from work who was with her boyfriend and brother and a friend of her boyfriends (who turned out to be a player for the Thunder, and very good looking!) We ended up getting talked into going on the floor for the last two bands with them and had a great time, just dancing, singing and watching all the random guys who tried to hit on Kammie. For those of you that have never seen them Theory of a Deadman puts on a great show if you get a chance to see them go! [The pictures are from Tuesday night, the first one is Abby, myself, Kammie, and Brett (the hockey player) and the second one is Kammie and I at the start of the night.]
Not much else has happened this week. Tonight and tomorrow I'm going to a Women's thing at my church so I will let you all know how that goes.
Hope you all have a great day! Bye for now...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

It's My Life

With my 26th birthday just around the corner I have started to wonder if this is really the life I have want. Every person in my life have his or her own thoughts and feelings on the subject, but rarely do they ask how I feel about it. I feel as thought I am stuck in a weird place. Most of my friends and older cousins are married and several have families of their own. I feel very torn between two worlds. Part of me really wants what they all have and at times I tend to be very lonely but part of me is scared of losing the freedom I have grown to love and need.
The last two years have been very difficult for me and have shown me a lot about my self. I think that with every day we are learn more about who we are. I know that the last two years have taught me that I am stronger than I ever thought I would be and that I can get through things that I never thought that I could.
So what is the next year of my life going to be like? Who really knows. I have a few goals in mind and I know of a few things that I want to accomplish but for now I'll just keep those to my self all will be reveald in due time.
Sorry for my first blog being a downer. Will post happier ones in the future. Hope you all will continue to read these. Untill next time, have a happy and wonderful day!